on being happy

"but what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?"

- albert camus

i sat across from her at lunch and pondered her question.

"how are you?" she had asked.

i smiled.

i smiled wider.

i shrugged my shoulders and cocked my head to one side. my smile grew wider still.

"i'm happy. i'm just really, really happy."

what can you say to a response like that? she smiled in return.

we continued talking and time passed as quickly as it does when you're watching an engrossing movie.

when i left the restaurant, my reply kept ringing in my ears.

"i'm happy. i'm just really, really happy."

my answer to her question had been so natural. without premeditation.

actually, i didn't have to ponder.

but something inside of me felt i needed to pause, to taper my response.

my happiness was so great, it felt obnoxious.

there are moments in one's life when everything is in sync.

the planets are aligned.

happiness is effortless.

and appreciation is abound.

she caught me during this time.

this time that is so fresh. so tangible. so raw.

there is no way to chase after it.

it just appears, like the arrival of an old friend you've been dying to see.

that is the beauty of it.

ask me today how i am.

and i'll smile back and say:

"i'm happy. i'm just really, really happy."